Saturday, November 01, 2008
In Support Of A Ballot Measure Permitting Major
Political Candidates To Eat Their Young (1992)
I will do whatever it takes to be re-elected.
Wee Willy Clinton refueled his bus at the Casey's
down the road last week, every wave and word
creating unnatural frenzy. And Georgie-Porgie-
President-Pie kissed my ass
and made me cry, but when the boys
came out to play, it was Ross who ran away.
(AP Washington When rearranged, the letters in "George Herbert
Walker Bush" can spell "Huge, berserk, Rebel
Warthog." So far, the president has refused to
comment except to blame his opponents for
Larry Agran calmly waters his lawn,
speaks without a teleprompter, doesn't seek motes
in the political pasts of anyone.
He dressed for the party
but went to the wrong address (they
Lenora and Andre show far less tolerance,
throwing popcorn at Larry King
as the leading three candidates pose like bachelors
on The Dating Game and promise
two thirty second spots in every hour
and a value on every family.
Their writers and coaches are state of the art,
veterans of Cold Wars and Cola Wars;
every inflection is artfully crafted for
we hold these truths to be self-evident
that all polls
are created equal.
And it is our duty,
one nation under
goddammit, Madonna wants me to vote,
Jesus hasn't endorsed anyone
(despite what the press releases claim) and no one
bothered to channel Elvis or take
an informal survey among the voting-age
members of New Kids On The Block